What was the last time when you deal with colleagues who are in denial and that it made your jaw drop? A four-year LeadershipIQ.com report showed that 23 percent of CEOs were fired for ignoring evidence, suggesting they failed to accept objective information about the results of their company.
Entrepreneurs usually respond by presenting them with the truth and facts, when people reject reality. However, evidence shows that is precisely the opposite thing to do.
Studies on confirmation bias show that we continue to look for knowledge and view it in ways that adhere to our values. There is always an emotional commitment to continuing to believe what you want to believe. Furthermore, findings of a phenomenon called the backfire effect show that when we are faced with evidence that leads us to feel worse about our self-worth or beliefs, we might often also grow a deeper commitment to the wrong idea.
such intellectual blindspots are two of over 100 serious errors in judgment arising from the way our brains are wired —what scholars in cognitive neuroscience and behavioral economics call cognitive biases. Fortunately, new work in these areas reveals how you can use proactive approaches in your professional life to overcome such risky errors of judgment.
Instead of debating, it is much more effective to use a research-based strategy I developed called EGRIP (Emotions, Goals, Rapport, Information, Positive Reinforcement), which provides clear guidelines on how to deal with people in this case colleagues who are in denial.
For example, consider the case of Mike, a leading new product development leader in a fast-growing tech startup. He set a realistic target for a product launch and he declined to push the date as more and more bugs kept on creeping up. People tried to speak to him, but he hunkered down and proceeded to demand that the product will be launched on schedule and performed well.
I was doing coaching for the founder of the company, and he asked me to speak to Mike to see what was going on.
E – Connect with their emotions
Denial psychology is one of the most common defense mechanisms. When someone rejects simple evidence, you can reasonably conclude that they are pushed away from reason by their emotions. While reactions can be beneficial, they can lead us astray too. The thing that works better is to focus on understanding their emotions and to determine what emotional blocks might cause them to stick their heads into the sand of reality.
What I found in my interactions with Mike was that he tied his self-worth and sense of accomplishment to “sticking to his weapons,” mixing good leadership with loyalty and fear of becoming vulnerable as the team leader in his new position. He claimed that team leaders sought to manipulate him by forcing him to change the schedule and admit that he was not performing. A common issue for new leaders is this false correlation of leadership with integrity and fear of being low.
G – Establish shared goals
Then, you need to set common goals, which is essential for a successful exchange of information. I spoke to Mike about how we both shared the aim of making him succeed as the company’s chief. Equally, we all shared the goal of making the new product profitable.
R – Build rapport
Next, build up a rapport by establishing trust. Use empathetic listening to express their thoughts, and show you how they feel. I spoke to Mike about how it’s hard to care about the loyalty of one’s team members, and also spoke about what he feels makes someone a good leader. This can be a challenge if you are providing time-limited support to a colleague who is in denial. however, rapport is best built over the long term.
I – Provide information
Start offering new details at this stage that might prove a little challenging but wouldn’t reach the actual point of pain. I explained to Mike how research suggests one of the most important signs of being a strong leader is the ability to change your mind based on new evidence, giving examples such as Alan Mulally saving Ford Motor Company through repeated changes of course. If I had begun with this detail, Mike might have regarded it as a threat. Though obviously slipping it in as part of a broader discussion after establishing a friendship based on mutual goals. Mike gave a calm acceptance of knowledge.
P – Provide positive reinforcement
Then after the individual shifts their outlook, provide them with positive reinforcement which is a research-based technique for changing someone’s emotions. The more optimistic the person’s feelings are correlated with the ability to accept negative information as an essential capacity, the less likely someone will have to speak to them in the future. With Mike, I spoke about where he might better demonstrate these features to show anyone who may want to undermine him what a good leader he is, and at the same time make the new product as profitable as possible. I spoke about how he could demonstrate strength by postponing the launch of the new product. He agreed and I commended his willingness to demonstrate strength and leadership by changing his viewpoint on the basis of new facts.
Good luck and note that you can use EGRIP not only in professional environments but in all circumstances where you want to guide people away from false assumptions that make them reject the truth.
Dr. Gleb Tsipursky is basically on a mission to protect leaders from dangerous judgment errors known as cognitive biases by developing the most effective decision-making strategies. With over 20 years of experience as CEO of the training, coaching, and consulting firm Disaster Avoidance Experts, he also spent over 15 years in academia as a cognitive neuroscientist and behavioral economist. He’s an EO speaker, a recent EO 360° podcast guest, and author of Never Go with Your Gut (2019), The Blind spots Between Us (2020), and The Truth Seeker’s Handbook (2017).
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